I suddenly woke up…
I saw a very bright light everywhere, although the lamp in the room was off.
It was about 3.30 am, the time of fajr prayer.
But where did the light come from?
I stood up confusedly and saw that half of my hand was tucked inside the wall. I pulled my hand panic-stricken out of the wall. I puzzled looked at my hand and stretched it out towards the wall again, so it went in again!
Suddenly, there was a laughter, I turned around to see if it was my brother, but it wasn’t him, he was still sleeping.
Full of fear, I tried to wake up my brother, but he wasn’t reacting.
I went to my parents room to wake them up, I tried to wake them up, I wanted someone to respond, that I get an answer, but to no avail, again there was no reaction!
By trying to wake up my mother again, she woke up by herself. She woke up, but ignored me and did not respond to me either.
The only thing she said, after waking up was ‘Bismillahirrahmanirrahim’ and subsequently waking up my father. “Wake up! Let’s look after the kids. I have an uncomfortable feeling.”
My father replied “Khair In sha Allah. Go back to sleep, we’ll look after them tomorrow.”
Nevertheless my mother was stubborn and made my dad wake up to look after me and my brother.
In this confused state, I started shouting at them! “Mooom, Daaad, stop! I am here! Your daughter! Why aren’t you reacting?” But still, I got no answer.
I pulled against my mother’s clothes, wanted her to listen to me, but no chance. She didn’t feel me somehow.
So I had absolutely no other choice but to follow her in my room.
My parents entered our room and switched on the lights. For me, that made no difference, since there were light everywhere.
But then, I had to experience something very extraordinary! Something, I never experienced before. I saw my own body! My body laid on the bed and I could look at it and observe it from a distance. It was like, I was two persons. How is that possible, to be in the own room and observe the own body while sleeping?
I tried waking up myself to escape from the nightmare, but in vain.
My father said “look, the kids are sleeping Alhamdulillah. So let us go back to sleep.”
However, my mother was still nervous and went on to my bed. She started waking me up “my daughter? Are you sleeping? Wake up. Wake up! Answer me! Wake up!!”
I couldn’t answer her, she tried so often but I just didn’t wake up.
Suddenly, I saw how my father burst into tears. That’s something he actually never does! I saw my father crying the first time in my life.
My parents were both crying and sobbing. They just couldn’t control their selves. So my brother woke up and asked, what was wrong.
My mother replied “Your sister died! She left us!” She cried so pitiful as never before.
It was incomprehensible to me. I tried to make clear that I didn’t die. “Mom, please don’t cry. Stop crying. I am right here. Look at me! So look at me!”
No one responded. Why???
I almost ended up in despair and started screaming. “I am here!” What’s going on here?” No Answer or any reaction.
“Ya Rabbi! Please wake me up from this nightmare! Free me from this situation! What’s the matter here ya Rabb?” I suddenly heard a voice from a distance, which came closer to me.
It was the voice of Allah subhanahu wa Ta’ala. He sent two figures who grabbed me!
I had great fear! I started screaming again “Let go of me! Who are you? What do you want?”
They answered “We are your escorts to your grave”
“I am not dead! I am alive!” I replied. “Why are you taking me to the grave? I can still feel, see and hear! I am not dead!”
They responded with a smile “You men are strange beings. You seriously think, that life on earth is the only one. But you don’t know that this life is like a dream and when you die, you wake up to the real life, which begins subsequently.”
They still pulled me to the grave…
On the way I saw more human beings who, just like me, had two figures next to them. Some of them were crying, some of them screaming and some of them laughing.
I asked, why they were crying. The two replied “These human beings just being told where their final destination is and…” I interrupted full of fear and panic “So they are being put into the fire?” They affirmed. The characters keep on telling “… And the laughing human beings are going to Jannah”
I immediately asked “So what about me? Where is my final destination?” They replied “At times you were holding onto Allahs path and at times you weren’t. You were repenting on one day and on the other you were sinning again. It wasn’t always clear which way you’re taking…”
I interrupted again, since I couldn’t bear it anymore “So am I going into the Fire?”
They told me “Allahs mercy overtakes his wrath.”
I turned my pale face and full of fear back and saw how my mother, my father, my brother, my relatives and friends carried my coffin.
I yelled at them “Please make Dua for me” but I didn’t get any answer. Some were crying and some were mourning…
I shouted at my brother “Look out! Take care of yourself so this deceptive life does not mislead you. Please pay attention and don’t let yourself be misled by the fitna of this dunya!”
I really wish he could hear me.
The two angels laid me into my grave. I saw how my father poured soil over me. All of the attendants poured soil over me.
I wish I could be in their place to repent. I would love to be in their place to repent.
If I only woke up for fajr. If I only made always Dua to Allah to save me from hellfire.
I started shouting “Oh you People! Watch out! Don’t let yourself go astray by this deceptive and useless Dunya!”
I wish only one person could here me!
Do you hear me right now?
Think of the moment, laying in your grave and thinking -if I only had…-